1. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
2. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of maths disruption.
3. No matter how much you push the envelope it’ll still be stationery.
4. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
5. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
6. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
7. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, “You stay here, I’ll go on a head.”
8. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said: “Keep Off the Grass.”
9. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.
When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, “No
10. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.